How Do I Know If I Need Counselling?
You don’t have to be in crisis to consider counselling.
Sometimes people know exactly why they want to speak to a counsellor. Something difficult may have happened, a relationship may have broken down, or anxiety, depression or stress may have become difficult to manage.
At other times, it can be much harder to put your finger on what is wrong.
You might simply feel that something isn’t quite right, that you’re struggling more than usual, or that the same difficulties keep appearing in your life.
You don’t need to have everything worked out before considering counselling.
Are my problems serious enough for counselling?
This is something many people wonder about.
It can be easy to compare what you’re experiencing with other people’s difficulties and decide that you should simply cope with things yourself.
But counselling isn’t only for people experiencing a major crisis.
If something is affecting your wellbeing, relationships, confidence or everyday life, it can be worth giving yourself some space to explore it.
You don’t need to prove that your difficulties are serious enough to deserve support.
What are some signs that counselling might help?
There isn’t a checklist that determines whether somebody needs counselling, but there are times when having a confidential space to talk may be helpful.
You might notice that:
- you feel anxious, low, stressed or overwhelmed more often
- you’re finding it difficult to switch off or relax
- the same thoughts or worries keep going around in your mind
- difficult experiences from the past are still affecting you
- your relationships seem to follow patterns that you don’t fully understand
- you’re struggling with grief, loss or a significant change in your life
- your confidence or self-esteem has been affected
- you’re feeling stuck or disconnected from yourself
- you’re finding it difficult to understand your emotions
- you simply feel that something needs to change
You don’t have to identify with any particular diagnosis to come to counselling.
Sometimes wanting to understand yourself better is reason enough.
What if I normally cope with things myself?
Many people who come to counselling are used to being independent and dealing with difficulties on their own.
Asking for support doesn’t mean that you’ve failed to cope.
Sometimes the ways we have learned to manage difficult situations work for a long time, but eventually they may stop being as helpful as they once were.
Counselling can give you the opportunity to slow things down and look at what is happening with someone who isn’t part of your everyday life.
What happens in counselling?
Counselling provides a confidential space where you can talk openly about what is happening for you.
My counselling philosophy is integrative. This means I don’t expect every person to fit into one particular type of therapy.
Instead, we can explore what you are experiencing and work in a way that takes account of you as an individual.
You can read more about integrative counselling on my Counselling page.
You also don’t need to arrive at your first appointment knowing exactly what you want to talk about. If you’re wondering what beginning therapy is actually like, my article What Happens in Your First Counselling Session? explains the process in more detail.
How long should I wait before seeking counselling?
There isn’t a particular point at which you become “eligible” for counselling.
Some people seek support soon after noticing that something is becoming difficult. Others may have been struggling with something for months or even years before deciding to talk to somebody.
You don’t have to wait until things become unbearable.
If something is having an impact on your life and you would like the opportunity to understand it better, counselling may be worth considering.
What if I’m still unsure?
Choosing to have counselling is a personal decision, and it’s completely reasonable to have questions before deciding.
That’s one reason I offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation.
It gives us an opportunity to have an initial conversation about what has brought you to counselling, for you to ask questions, and to get a sense of whether I might be the right counsellor for you.
There is no obligation to book counselling afterwards.
I work with adults aged 18 and over, with sessions available face-to-face in Lowestoft, online, by telephone and through Walk & Talk counselling.
Arrange your free 15-minute telephone consultation
Leon Day
Integrative Counsellor
Lowestoft & Online